Lucid Dreams

"I know that your having a rough time, but you dont have to face this alone. I am there for you, and that will never change. I will be with you through every step of life, and even though things may make it seem like you cant move on, and when your hanging by a thread, I will hold out my hand, and risk everything to bring you back up. So dont loose hope, for there will always be bigger and brighter stars ahead. The thing that you need to think of is the things that are always there. The people that you love, and love you...like me. So take take that step ahead. Keep climbing, because it will all be worth it in the end. And you will look back on this moment and smile at how simple it was, even though it doesnt seem like that now. And the most important thing is that I will be there as well, smiling with you."


-----------Yours truly, Isaac




There is something interesting about me, that not to many people know. It's not a big secret, I just have yet to find myself in a conversation that calls for this information. I am a lucid dreamer. For those of you who don't know, here's basically what that means. A lucid dreamer is basically a person who can control their dreams a lot more than regular people can. Why is that? Some say its a trait, and I may have to agree, since everyone on my mothers' side of the family is a lucid dreamer. But really, anyone can do it, if they try. The way you can control your dream is simple: realize your dreaming, and have a clear mind. For Lucid dreamers like me, that first part is already done for us. The second part is just as hard, but if done correctly, you can do whatever you want, literally, and remember everything when you wake up. It's truly an amazing thing, to do anything you want with anyone at any time you sleep. It's one of my favorite things to do, is sleeping, mainly because my dream world is better. 


But that doesn't mean that we lucid dreamers have nightmares, not at all. In fact, I personally think that lucid nightmares are worse. Here is why; A regular person has a dream about something random, and normally forgets it the morning they wake up. A lucid dreamers dreams dig deeper into the sub-conscience than that of a normal person. To be more specific, a normal lucid dreamers dreams are about the current life of the dreamer. And for a normal person, a nightmare is a dream that portrays ones fears and unleashes them on the dreamer; Normally about pain or horror, like a monster or serial killer, or maybe even falling to death. Death. Thats one of the things that separates a lucid nightmare from a regular nightmare. Lucid nightmares aren't about death. They are better than that. They dig to your deeper, inner thoughts, and uses them against you. Basically, lucid dreams are more about your personal feelings. They find that one person, that person you love dearly, that person closest to you...well, lets just say it's heart breaking and nerve wracking to watch. 


Last night, I had a lucid nightmare. It is far too horrible to even say...just thinking about it sickens me. Not only because of what happened was completely terrible, but just having that thought in my brain, those mental pictures...It
s sickening that I would even have something like that in my head.  I told myself that it was just a dream, and it would never happen...but that's the thing about lucid nightmares: you can always expect something similar to happen. And just the thought of it makes me sick. The last time I had lucid nightmares, it ended up coming true. Not exactly the way it had portrayed, but it was similar. I would drive up to my Ex's house, not seeing her for years, excited to see her, and I come to find her with someone else. In real life, I didn't drive anywhere, I didn't even see her. But I did find out she was with someone else, and it was just as heart breaking as the nightmares I had. 


But this lucid nightmare was different. It was certainly a first experience, not even I know what it means. I woke up at 6:30, my mom was behind me with the door open and the hallway light on, telling me it was time to wake up, like she normally did. I got up and talked with her for a few seconds before the strangest thing happened...I woke up again. This time at 6:03. I sat there almost crying at the images that I had seen, afraid and confused, and above all, paranoid. 


After convincing myself that it was only a dream, I got in the shower to begin my day. 


School was none-the-less boring and uneventful. I just did my work, slept, did my work, slept, did my work, ate, did my work and left. At home, I jumped on my computer to find that special someone who my nightmare had been about was online. I talked to her, pretending to be happy. I talked to her as much as I could, and I felt better after I did. After she got off, I said the normal "I love you" and she said it back. If only she knew that when I say I love you I mean it more than she anticipates, but I don't complain. I'm lucky to even have someone like her in my life. I listened to my Linkin Park CD another 3 times, and slept at 7, waking up at 8:13. And now, I'm writing this. Today, I thought the quote of the day I put up would be appropriate, because not only was it me who said that, but I said it to that special person. And It's a promise I hope to keep, and I will try my hardest to keep it true.  


So, until tomorrow, Isaac.